Desired Effects
by Henry V
Summary: Ritsuko Akagi tries to adjust the Pilot's Psychological balance. With forseeably catastrophic results! Chapter FOUR! Woo yeah!
1. Manifold Uncertainty

**Desired Effects**

by Henry V

* * *

><p>I don't own Jack, or Eva<p>

Alright. Writer's block can give you some pretty crazy ideas. Like this one. Read at your own discretion

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One; Chances<strong>

* * *

><p>Asuka Langley Sohryu<p>

Second child and pilot of Unit 02 of the Eva Series.

Redheaded Germanic traits, involving repressed feelings concerning the Third Child, Shinji Ikari, pilot of Unit 01 of the Eva series.

Psychological assessment states that a relationship between the two would greatly enhance co-working ability. Positive attachment to other human beings are vital.

Rendering possible chances of social interaction of high value under current emotional circumstances. Please wait…

Chances; 0.000000001 percent probability.

Rendering possible chances of social interaction of high value under optimized emotional circumstances. Please wait…

Chances; 99 percent probability.

0.5 percent chance of lack of interest on Third Child's part, 0.25 percent chance of interception by First Child, Rei Ayanami, pilot of Unit 00 of the Eva series, 0.25 percent chance of various unquantifiable negative influences hindering proper development.

Gendo Ikari read the text, slowly and carefully, as his chief of project E stood silently before his desk.

"And you are sure that the differences would affect the piloting skills of the Third Child exponentionally?"

Ritsuko Akagi smiled. "Yes. Positively explosively"

"Very well, you may proceed with project phantom, then. Inform the pilots of a synch test… we do not wish anyone else to witness this change"

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

><p>The three pilots sat, waiting in respective poses, for the test to begin.<p>

"Uh… Ritsuko?"

The redhead sighed. "Honestly, Shinji, can't you shut up? I'm trying to concentrate, nitwit!"

Ritsuko rolled her eyes, then answered him.

"Yes, Shinji?"

The boy winced at Asuka's reprimands. They hurt, sometimes.

"Ummm… I was wondering, why isn't Misato here?"

The bottle blonde shrugged. "Who knows? Something important, I guess…"

She proceeded to give orders to the techs, who glanced at her; then proceeded to enact those orders.

Ritsuko bit her lip. _I hope this works…._

"Synch test, start!

* * *

><p>"Huh… what? Where am i?"<p>

The redhead shook her head. It was hurting like hell, and her body felt like it had just been torn apart and fixed again.

Something was pressing into her back. It felt like an arm, or something. Then, it moved.

"Ugh… what happened…"

The voice was familiar to Asuka. It sounded… almost like her own…

The dark plug shook, as if it was being physically torn out of the socket. The girl shrieked, and heard the shriek pierce her ears from behind too.

"Who the hell are you?"

She scrambled out of the seat, just as the other person began to flail at nothing.

"What do you mean? You're the one intruding!"

She pressed herself against the plug walls, breathing in the LCL to keep her mind clear.

"I demand you show yourself! And if it's you, Shinji, I'm gonna kill you!"

"Hey! Don't take that tone with me, Arschloch! Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my Eva!"

Asuka fell silent. "The fuck! This is _my _Eva! And that question is mine to ask!"

* * *

><p>Shinji knew something had gone wrong. The fact that all the lights had just gone out was something of a biggie, but just before the power cut, he had heard Asuka scream in pain. He had called out for her, but with no answer given, he assumed the worst. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.<p>

* * *

><p>"Maya… what just happened?"<p>

The bottle blonde could only hear the bustle of technicians trying to restore power to the command facility. The experiment had gone so well... up to a certain point. Eva unit 02 had freaked, gone berserk… sorta. It had just screamed and shut itself down. Then, a spark from her core had spiked the nerve connections to the plug. That was when Asuka had started screaming. Almost.. in stereo.

"It… I… I… don't know, ma'am. I think we overloaded the mental buffers… you know I did say that could be a dangerous amount of psychological broadcasting we used! I can't say if we'll retrieve her alive, even…"

"Get her out as soon as you can! Open a channel to her, Rei or Shinji! I need status reports on the double!"

Panic began to settle in her chest. The thought of one pilot's loss was unbearable. Not to think about the consequences; Shinji would be devastated! And that meant…

_Oh shit, the Commander's going to skin me alive for this!_

* * *

><p>Asuka sat hugging her legs to herself. This was a nightmare, surely. A dream, something she would wake up from soon. Nothing as insane as this was even possible!<p>

She heard soft sobs coming from the opposite side of the plug.

Hah! That proves it! Asuka Langley Sohryu would never, ever cry in a situation like this!

"So, gonna tell me who you are for real now?"

"Shut up! I am Asuka Langley Sohryu! You're just a figment of my imagination! Just go away!"

Asuka snorted. "a bit of German and some tough words do not make you me, bitch! Now own up!"

The sobs descended into outright crying.

"And stop the frikken tears! Argh, you are so annoying!"

* * *

><p>"Power coming back on line in ten seconds!"<p>

"Well done. Now, focus on retrieving the Second Child and get her to the medical facilities. I need to examine her immediately"

The good doctor spun on her heels, leaving the rest ot the technicians now finally flooded with light once more.

"Uh… right. Discharge plug, drain lcl and prepare for pilot retrieval!"

Maya's commands were followed to the letter. The eva's back spilt, revealing the plug. As soon as it was out, four streams vented LCL rapidly as it was brought to the bridge. One gurney and a set of medics were hurrying to collect the pilot. Maya hoped they wer not needed, but if what she had theorized was going on, the medical team was not going to be of any use at all.

* * *

><p>Asuka felt he plug shake again. This time, the lcl pressure decreased, and she recognized the procedure of retrieval. Finally! Twenty minutes of listening to a sobbing wreck of a girl was driving her out of her mind. That's probably why she took potshots at the impostor.<p>

"Right! Finally, something good happens! I hope they chuck you into prison, bitch!"

No answer. Maybe she was contemplating it already.

Anyway, the sobbing stopped. The level of liquid slipped past her head, and she began coughing up the rest of it. Twin sounds indicated the other person was doing the same. No hacking like newbies either. Just the regular coughs that purged her lungs so efficiently.

A clank. The plug now rested on the platform's restraint. Any moment now…

A hiss, and light poured into the cylinder. And what she saw…

"You've got to be kidding me!"

Maya heard the exclamation. The opening plug stayed silent, afterwards. Hesitating, she called out to her.

"Asuka… Asuka, you can come out now"

She heaved a sigh of relief when she saw the tip of red hair appear, closely followed by the sharp features of Asuka's face.

It didn't come out, though. Her head turned back to the interior of the plug, then she cursed.

"Fucking hell, what the fuck are you?" she turns to Maya "Is this some kind of prank or something?"

Anger reinforces the redhead. She glares into the lieutenant's confused face. Maya sometimes just didn't get the girl.

"Look, Asuka.. sorry about the test. Something..just didn't go as it should have-"

"Oh, you're telling me? Why is it I wake up, then, after being shredded to bits and mashed together again, that I find-"

"Asuka! Asuka, are you allright?"

The almost panicky voice of Shinji cut her off from her rant. This did however just infuriate her more.

"I'm perfectly fine, Third child! Stop acting like a housewife every time I get set back, you baka!"

Shinji simultaneously sighed in relief and cringed at ther words.

"Well, if you're okay then…"

"Shinji… Shinji, is that you?"

Asuka's eyebrows rose, then fell again like lead to form a deep, deep frown she directed back into the plug.

Shinji was confused again. She had just seen him, why was she asking if he was here?

"um, yes, Asuka, it's me-"

"shut up! " the redhead glared at him, then turned away again. "And you, you imposter bitch, shut the hell up too!"

_What?_

Maya's thoughts raced. Had the test forced delusions upon the second?

"But I just-"

"NO! just shut up!_shut up!"_

To Shinji and co, it seemed as if she'd cut herself off mid-sentence. The redhead dissapered from the edge and continued swearing.

"Bist du nicht willig, so zwing ich dich!"

Shinji then heard the sounds of a scuffle erupting from the plug. He hurried forward, in an effort to break it up.

"Asuka! What are you doing to yourself? Stop it-"

As he reached the plug, he did two things. One was shut up at last, the other was gasp in shock at what he saw.

Inside, two Asukas, mirror images to the very tip of their hair, were shrieking and punching each other furiously. Both of them noticed him, and one of them reached out with her hand.

"Please…help!"

The other one growled and punched her in the stomach. Their fight continued for a while before Shinji leapt inside and grabbed Asuka by the shoulders and dragged her off her opposite.

"Hey! Get off me, you little-"

She slipped, and fell backwards, landing on top of the boy, who cushioned her fall with his body.

She did, however, knock her head against his jaw, splitting his lower lip and getting some blood in her hair. Afet a few seconds, she began to struggle free from him, only to come face to face with her rival.

"Get._ The fuck_. Off Shinji!"

The last was pronounced with a fist to the ribs, sending her gasping for air and rolling off him.

Shinji was slightly dazed, and the girl's words were lost to him mostly. He did hear the words "are you okay?", but couldn't figure out what the rest meant.

Meanwhile, Maya had caught up. She spotted two red-clad girls, almost screamed in shock, then decided to stop the one raising her fist to strike at the one bent over Shinji.

"Stop right now!"

The two stared at her. Then at each other. Asuka lowered her fist, slowly. Then neither moved an inch, staring intently at the other's eyes.

"Okay… who are you?" Maya knew that it was a stupid question the moment the two faces smirked and uttered the same name.

"_Asuka Langley Sohryu, of course!"_

She buried her face in her palm.

"Oh, dear god, what am I gonna say to Ritsuko?"

* * *

><p><strong>Funsies; Thats what I wrote it for. And i think I've never seen this before. (well... not entirely true. i think i saw a lemon, a while back. but not this kind of plot, though;) Expect updates, but no regular ones. <strong>

**Thank you for reading!**

**Yours sincerely, **

**Henry V**


	2. Revelations

**Desired Effects**

by Henry V

* * *

><p>I don't own Jack, or Eva<p>

Well, I'm amazed how well this was accepted! My email was suddenly flooded with alerts; Reviews, Favs and Alerts!

Many thanks to those who reviewed; I'll get to you later!

Anyway, On with the story...

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two; Revelations<strong>

* * *

><p>Maya sighed. She had directed the two Asukas to Akagi's examination room, where they now stood glaring at each other over the table in the room.<p>

As far as the complicated part was, this was easy. Now, to explain to Ritsuko.

_Oh dear god…_

* * *

><p>The good doctor had just left the ladies room, making her way to her office. She then came to a junction leading off to two places. One, the office directly; the other, to a nice, lukewarm, instant coffee. A moment's pause, and she turned right to the smell of the evil bean, ever so tempting.<p>

About thirty seconds later, a very flustered and anxious Lt Ibuki hurried past the junction, going where the doctor had just come from. She had been searching for over twenty minutes now, and her heart rate was probably in the higher hundreds now.

* * *

><p>"Well?"<p>

The redheads stood, arms crossed and positioned about an arm's reach from each other. The question was answered by a snort and a "Well what?"

"Well, aren't you gonna own up any time soon?"

The one on the left's eyebrow rose. Her mouth split into a grin.

"I think we both know who's not real, here!"

"Why you-"

The right Asuka-

[Oh, for heaven's sake! Let's for the sake of everyone's sanity, (including mine) call Nice!Asuka Sohryu, and Normal!Asuka Asuka. There, now, on with the story…]

Asuka leapt over the table to lunge at Sohryu, but missed by a whole foot. Her head almost made good friends with Sohryu's left knee, but was interrupted by her blocking hand.

"You want a piece of me? Well, here you go!"

A fist of vengeance missed Asuka's left temple, and she answered with a nice, powerful jab to the ribs, sending Sohryu gasping to the floor.

"Ahhhgh!" Sohryu's grunt of rage was the last coherent thing anyone could have made out as they both began to throw kicks and fist at each other.

* * *

><p>"ahhh… coffee… the world's greatest thing ever…"<p>

Ritsuko relished the sip she had taken, letting it wash around her mouth as she walked to her office. It lead, of course, past the examination room. And for those that are wondering; no, Maya's still looking for her.

Enjoy that last, peaceful moment, Akagi…

She neared the infirmary. A few feet from the door, she could hear something shattering. Glass, maybe. Curious, she opened the door. Was Asuka in there? Was she angry about something again?

She opened the door….

She ducked, just barely avoiding a bedpan.

"Alright, what's going on here?"

She could see someone, or better two someones, on the floor. They were trying to strangle each other, for some reason.

_Hold on…_

Both wore a red plugsuit. _Okay, maybe Shinji took to wearing one?_

Then, Asuka suddenly screeched, and toppled off the girl on the floor…

"…Asuka?"

Her head began to swim. Two faces turned to her.

"_What!"_

Two pairs of blue eyes. Two sets of eyebrows raised in annoyance. Two manes of red hair whipping as the two heads turned to her.

The coffee mug shattered as it hit the floor.

"two… two… one and one…. Two…"

Hurried footsteps, and Maya cringed as she approached the doctor. "ummm…"

No reaction. She just kept saying "two… why are there two? Two… two…"

"ahem!"

The doctor tore her eyes from the now scuffling girls again. They landed, unfocused and twitching, on Maya.

"Two… one excess… not one, but two…"

"Ah, you see, what I mean is…"

Ritsuko's arms rose, her eyes falling on to her palms, seemingly fascinated by them.

"Well, I was looking for you and I wanted to Urk-"

Two incredibly strong hands grabbed her by the front of her uniform and pulled her towards the now terribly, terribly focused doctor Akagi.

"What. Is. Happening. Here"

The proximity was extremely uncomfortable to the poor tech, and no amount of struggling would loosen the iron grip.

"Eh… well, when we did those assumptions… well, you know what the Magi said about the failure?"

The doctor's eyes were slits now. "Yes. Neurological overload. Cranial activity neutralized. Maybe even bipolar tendencies. But not Bicorporal!"

She turned the hapless lieutenant to the two scratching, biting and kicking girls.

"You see that? That is a scientific impossibility. It means it should not be possible! Where the hell did she come from!"

She began to shake the woman, venting her frustration.

Another set of hurried footsteps. A red-clad well-developed woman in Major's uniform came up to the two, grinning like an idiot.

"Hi, Rits! You know, I just heard the weirdest thing-"

"Are you going to rub it in my face, huh? Cause I have no fucking time for your stupid, un-funny remarks right now! "

She dropped the severely shaken Tech to reach for Misato.

"I have to explain to the Commander that we now have TWO Asukas! _Two, _do you hear? Now is not the time for stupid remarks! We are all out of stupid remarks for the week!"

Misato backtracked.

"Whoa, there, hold your horses! What did you say?"

The two girls chose that moment to stumble out the door, landing in a screaming heap on top of Maya.

"Oh… "

Her face changed, from utter shock and disbelief, to another, even more intense grin. Then, it became a snort, finally ending in an all-out bout of laughter.

Ritsuko advance on the woman…

* * *

><p>Lathered in small bandages, and because Ritsuko was pissed off, in a straight jacket each, the two Asuka's were being examined by the doctor, who had gone to get another coffee first.<p>

Now, saturated with caffeine, the doctor ticked off the last few items on her list.

"Are you gonna let me out now?"

Ritsuko glanced at the equally bound major.

"No"

"You know, I can get out of this if I dislocate my shoulder"

The doctor sat at her desktop, began to type.

"I'd like to see that"

Both Asukas watched as Misato began to struggle in her jacket.

"But that would mean you would have dislocated your shoulder before, which you haven't"

A few moments later, Misato fell over, including the chair.

Asuka sighed. "You should have seen this coming, Misato"

Sohryu giggled. "I don't think Kaji would mind, though…"

"…. Girls, stop teasing the woman. She can't help being so fast-"

"Shut UP Ritsuko!"

"Aw, and I was just going to let you go. Too bad!"

She ignored the swearing woman and focused on the two Germanic beauties before her.

"Well, what are we going to do now?"

The two girls looked at each other, frowned, then demanded _"throw her in the brig!"_

Ritsuko rolled her eyes. "Now, now, Asuka. Asukas. Asukee… oh, what the heck! I'm going to ask you a question; and you're sure as hell not going to get out of here if I don't like the answer!"

The two girls' eyes widened in anxious anticipation. It was almost enough to pull up Ritsuko's mouth.

I said almost.

"Ahem. Right. Now, what would you like to do right now?"

The two stared et the woman. Both brows sank to a frown. The two mimicked their facial expressions to a twitch.

_It seems they really are alike. I wonder just how deep this similarity goes…_

Meanwhile, the thoughts of the two girls followed the same pattern.

_She's tricking me, I'm sure of it. Hmm… I'd really like to punch that harlot in the face… but I guess that's not gonna work. Maybe get out of this stupid jacket? No, coz she'll assume I wanna sock that bitch again. Which I really do. Hard. Hmmm… oh, I know!_

"_I wanna go home!"_

_Amazing. Two mind paths, mimicking the same thoughts, probably, arriving at the same answer in the same time. _

She nodded. Just once.

"Fine. You can both go home now" she turned to the moping woman on the floor.

"Are you ready to go, Misato? I'm still waiting to see your Houdini act…"

"Ritsuko, my dear friend, come closer…."

* * *

><p>After surprising Ritsuko with the jacket-wrapped-around-head-and-neck-trick, Misato was tasked to get two exactly similar girls, as well as one very confused boy home. Without anybody dying.<p>

"Right, who wants shotgun?"

"_Me, of course!"_

She buried her face in her palm.

The two continued to try to hack verbal pieces out of their opposites. Shinji tried, and failed, to be the voice of reason. In the end, Misato decided that since the two were still wearing their "smelly lcl-drenched Plugsuits", they were not going to dirty her baby's front seat leather. As the two began to hurl accusements at each other for ruining the other's chance at shotgun, Shinji sighed in relief at not having to sit next to, well… the Asukas. Oh, god, this was gonna be a nightmare….

* * *

><p>"Are they done yet?"<p>

Shinji sighed. In the room behind the two TV-watching residents, something went bump.

Then something went clunketyfrack. Sounds of scuffling could be heard.

"I don't think they've decided what to wear…"

* * *

><p>"Look… I don't know about you, but this situation is seriously fucking zany"<p>

Sohryu kept randomly kicking the pillow into the door. Somehow, it just seemed to work off the needed stress.

"Yeah. But that doesn't mean I can't wear my favorite T-shirt!"

Asuka huffed. "So? You lost, fair and square. Anyway, what gives you the right to stop mef rom wearing _my_ clothes?"

Sohryu raised an eyebrow. "Coz their mine, remember?"

The two locked eyes. An air of hostility seemed to unfold, once again, between the two.

Then Sohryu got up and began to step out of the room.

This would have suited Asuka, had Sohryu been wearing anything more than just a bra and shorts.

"And what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sohryu whipped around and flashed a grin.

"I'm gonna get me some dinner!"

Asuka tackled her before she could even reach for the door.

* * *

><p>Misato groaned. As in annoyed, you pervs…<p>

"Shinji, can you please start cooking? My stomach can't take any more of that act without anything in it!"

Shinji, ever the submissive doormat, nodded and made his way to the kitchen. Patting PenPen on the head, he began to prepare the meal. Only difference being, he was doing it for four now.

"Okay, how am I gonna stretch this?"

Meanwhile Misato was beginning to feel ever so slightly annoyed. After the umpteenth scream, she chucked the TV-remote onto the other side of the couch and angrily began to make her way to the door of the resident peeve.

Just as she reached out for the latch, an idea occurred.

* * *

><p>"Get off, bitch!"<p>

"I'll show you bitch!"

The door slid sideways. Misato flipped the switch, and the room was plunged into darkness, apart from the light streaming in from the hallway, silhouetting the major.

"SHUT TH HELL UP!"

The two girls stopped beating each other up, and focused on the woman holding…something looking like clothes in her outstretched hand.

"In light of the recent occourancies, I am hereby declaring martial law upon the premises of the Katsuragi household! This means you are gonna do what I say, when I say! And to restore the peace I hereby order you to wear.."

She flipped the switch again. Both girls took a moment to realize what she was holding.

"_No way!"_

Grinning evilly, Misato threw the two training suits down before the girls.

"Yes way! Tomorrow, we go shopping! But till then, you're wearing these!"

She closed the door victoriously, clapping her hands together.

"Right, dinner; here I come!"

The girls untangled from each other.

Asuka grunted and leapt for the heap. Sohryu followed suit, and soon they realized they were each holding the suits they and Shinji had worn, not so long ago.

Asuka smiled in triumph. "Hah! I got mine! You got the Baka's smelly suit!"

Sohryu smiled. "Good! Suits me"

Sohryu then began to pull it on.

"Yeah, and-wait! What do you mean by good?"

The half-clad girl smirked. "You know how long I've waited for an excuse to do this?"

Asuka couldn't believe the words her opposite was spouting. "You mean you'll willfully wear the idiot's clothes?"

Her head began to turn red with rage.

"What kinda freak are you?"

"Hey, don't you dare call me a freak!"

"Oh yeah? Well, _freak_, get this! You-"

The door swung open. A woman grabbed each girl by the ear and pulled them close.

"I will make this perfectly understandable. If you two don't shut up and stop fighting _right now, _I will personally drag the both of you to the deepest, darkest cellar I can remember and lock you up till you do. Now, we are going to sit down and have a nice, civilized meal, with Shinji, and then we're gonna go to bed, all nice and quietlike. Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear."

The two girls were too attached to their earlobes to shake their heads. Vertical movement was far more agreeable.

The two followed her to the table, finally clad in their suits.

Shinji was just finishing, and had the table ready for the four of them.

"Hi, Asuka-oh, are we going to do training again?"

Misato stifled a giggle.

"Not you. But if these two keep beating themselves up, I'm thinking of doing some…training…"

The girls shuddered. Sohryu then sat next to Shinji, earning a raised eyebrow from Misato and a frown from Asuka.

Misato swallowed her mouthful and focused on the girls.

"So…. Asuka. How do you feel?"

"Fine"

"Great!"

The former redhead glared at the one sitting next to the boy, smiling at her as she ate.

_Okay… we have a difference here…_

Silence once more fell over the four eating people.

Then…

"Shinji… can I sleep with you tonight?"

Sohryu's words were soft, unhurried and sincere.

The crashing of cutlery, glasses and jaws hitting the ground however were intensely fast and sharp.

* * *

><p>Gendo Ikari folded his hands before his mouth once more. The good doctor stood anxiously anticipating the response to the report given to him just moments ago.<p>

"So… we now have…. Two Second Children?"

"It appears so"

She thought keeping her words short and generally to the point was her easy ticket out of this. Oh, how wrong…

"This was due to your… project?"

"Most likely, sir"

A pause. Then….

"Can it be replicated?"

Her mind froze. Then she realized what he meant.

"Uh… I guess…"

"Then make it so. Dismissed!"

And with that, Ritsuko turned on her heels and began the tedious, head-hurting journey to her office where she sat and began to pull up the Third Child's Psychological charts.

Unknown to her, a rather ruffled Maya Ibuki began her thoughtful path back home. A plan was beginning to form in her mind. It would involve the head of Project E, a set of teacups, and a large quantity of typing. But it would succeed!

"I will, have you! I will!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, somewhere in the vicinity of Bombay, a major secret service analytic approached Lorenz Keel, with caution of course, and a small portfolio containing the transcripts of the recorded vices in NERV-Japan.<p>

Keel glared at the man ( as much as a visor can glare. Think Data in a bad mood), then began to read it.

After a few minutes, he closed the folder.

"And what is the meaning of this?"

The man shuffles in his shoes. "We are not really sure, sir"

Keel nodded. He drummed his hands on the folder. "Then I suggest… we wait for things to clear up. Don't you think?"

The man bobbed his head. "Ah, yes, sir. Of course we will"

"Report back to me… when any of this makes any sense"

"Yes sir. Thank you sir"

The man left. Keel rubbed his chin.

"This makes no sense… no sense at all…"

* * *

><p><strong>d\b**

* * *

><p>AN; Right, now it may seem that this chapter was rushed. I know, i usually suck at second chapters, but i had to get them back home quick to get to the grit of the story. Sorry!

To make this perfectly clear; this story will not make sense for a while. but hte idea was too good to waste, and maybe someone will do it better, someday.

And now for my reviewers;

Asukaforever92; Hope this piques your interest...

Hugh Haiter; Heh... i considered it, but htat would make avery short, boring fic

Guy; How nice to hear from you again! And i hope i can keep it... ;)

Aincalandorn; Next up will be school, so... The stooges are in for a fright, that's for sure

DWIM11893; I don't think Shinji would agree at the moment, but time will tell...

Dodobrango; Yeah, well... would you resent soeone being nice to you for a change? I know i wouldn't...

osiris; Here you go.

SolidJJ; Yo know, I'm not sure about where she's come from... but that which you wrote gives me an idea. and about the citrics... not sure-_yet!_

will1707; Thanks! Keep reading!

Almega; ...who says they'll get reintegrated? But she's gonna come to some interesting revelations about herself, that's for sure!

dylanredefined; I wouldn't want to be shinji right now. and i mean, right now.

Thanks again for all those who put this driblle on alert, and of course those who faved it have my happy gratitude. I hope not to dissapoint next chapter, so updates will take a while. Oh, and the ending was a reference to Burn After Reading. This is a humor fic, after all.


	3. Love is Destructive

**Desired Effects**

by Henry V

* * *

><p>I don't own Jack, or Eva<p>

Saying this story is a hit would probably be a bit much. But on the other hand, its way better than anything I've written here before. Well, mostly because it's such a relatively unused idea, so that might explain it. *shrugs*

Anyway I must thank you all for supporting me in this strange, confusing little fic.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three; Love is Destructive<strong>

* * *

><p>Asuka was the first to re-gather her wits. Sohryu was looking at Shinji, a worried expression on her face. It was replaced by a quick flash of surprise and then annoyance as Asuka grabbed her by the arm and pulled her from the table to her room.<p>

"Hey, what the hell!"

Asuka slammed the door shut, then whirled on the protesting girl.

"No, those are my words! What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Sohryu let out a frustrated groan. "I was just _trying _to get the bed situation resolved! 'Coz I am as sure as heck not sleeping with you, bitch!"

"Well why didn't you ask Misato! I mean, talk about perverts! You just proved you are a fake! There's no _way_ I'd ask such a thing!"

Sohryu could have advanced. Slapped her in the face. Even screamed a profanity at Asuka. But all she did was stare at her mirror image, a look of angry sadness on her face.

Asuka smirked. "Not so tough after all, are we? Well, being me ain't so easy!"

Sohryu then dropped her eyes. The girl wrapped her arms around herself, obviously deep in thought.

"Well, do have anything else to say? Or are you gonna own up at-"

She was interrupted by a soft sob. Originating from the other girl, it was suppressed, almost inaudible to most. But to Asuka, it could just as well been blared out on a loudspeaker.

"Ach, Gott! Wieso heulst du jetzt schon wieder?"

Dangerously close to tears, Sohryu sat down where she stood, hugging her legs to herself. Another sob escaped her lips.

"I can't believe I'm seeing this!"

Asuka then tore past her mirror image and straight to the comforts of the couch, angrily grabbing the remote and switching to some generic action series.

Misato eyed her for a few moments as shinji cleared the table away, earning a distracted thanks from the head of the household.

The door to Asuka's room was still open, and after a few minutes, crying could be heard from the room. Misato heard it, just as Asuka turned up the volume to drown it out. Shinji didn't, and kept on washing the dishes, unaware of the other redhead's lack of self-control, as Asuka so generously mumbled from the living room.

Misato knocked at the open door before entering, and cautiously stayed there as she asked to enter.

"Asuka… can I come in?"

Sohryu had her face buried in her elbows, her knees drawn up to it, pushing against her eyes and running with slowly dripping tears that fell to the floor, soaking into the carpet. She noticed the lack of light as her guardian blocked it from the hallway. Teary-eyed, she sniffed and nodded as Misato asked again.

The woman closed the door behind herself and moved to her, sitting down next to her, her legs stretched out in front of her, her hands loosely in her lap and her head slightly hung down, eyes on her knees.

Sohryu calmed down, her sniffles growing smaller and far apart.

After four minutes, she was quiet, and sat in the same position as Misato had found her in, sans the tears.

"So… what's up?"

Misato's soft words provoked a small laugh from the girl. "I get in the plug, black out, and wake up with a bitch calling herself Asuka on my lap. What do you think is up?"

Misato nodded. _Okay, this is getting stranger every minute. Let's cut to the chase…_

"Look, I can't imagine what you're going through… I can't really say I've ever heard of this kinda situation, so I'm gonna have to ask a few… weird questions, okay?"

Sohryu nodded.

"All right. Now, how far back do your memories go?"

The girl looked at her guardian, frowning. "All the way, why?"

"What do you mean, all the way?"

The girl first gave her an annoyed look, then sighed. "I dunno… as far back as anyone could, I guess…"

"Do you remember the last angel?"

This got a snort from her charge. "Yeah! We sure as heck had the most boring encounter ever"

Misato nodded. "Okay, can you remember meeting Shinji the first time?"

Sohryu's expression changed completely. "…Yes… how could I forget?"

Misato almost reeled at that smile she gave her. _Okay, we have a winner… just at what contest?_

"And the training?"

"Yup. All of it. I grew up in Germany, graduated there too, and kicked ass the first time we piloted. So what?"

Misato drew a deep breath. _All right, time for the big guns. _

"And… before? Before you were transferred to NERV-Germany?"

Sohryu snorted. "Nah. I can only remember having people of NERV around me. I can't even remember mom's face…"

Misato's hear began to pump harder.

"And you're sure about that? Nothing you want to keep from me?"

Sohryu grew slightly annoyed. "What do you mean by that?"

Misato smiled and laid a hand on her shoulder, reassuringly tightening her grip. "Nah, just asking. Just wanting to make sure, is all…"

"Sure about what?"

"That you're both the same-"

"I am sure as hell not _her!_ How could I be… how, Misato? Oh god why me!"

She descended into tears again. She tried to suppress them, only partially succeeding.

Misato wasn't really sure what she should do. Never the less, she reached out and pulled her charge into a hug.

"Look, I really hate to tell you, but you are both the same, apart from some small differences. I'm sure we can work this out…"

"This is a nightmare, and I'm gonna wake up soon. It has to be… "

Misato just held her, letting the redhead mutter her words into her shoulder.

"You don't really like her, do you?"

Asuka shook her head. Well, as best as you could while in Misato's shoulders.

"So… who do you like?"

That made the girl tense, ever so slightly. She could _feel _the smile on Sohryu's face.

"I… I like Shinji. A lot…"

"Yeah, so we heard just now."

Asuka pulled away. "Wait! No not like that-no… well, not right…. now… maybe later but I don't wanna do anything stu-"

She was silenced by a finger to the lips.

"S'okay. I'm not telling. At least, not directly. Ah, the teasing material you just gave me… awesome!"

Sohryu's eyebrows almost flew off her head. "Hey! What do you mean!"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. So, how about you come and confront… well, yourself, for lack of better terms?"

The redhead's expression darkened instantly. "No way"

Misato sighed. "All right. I'll go talk to her. Come out when you want to. You know, Shinji might need some help with the dishes…"

Sohryu's eyes darted to the door, a torn expression on her face.

The woman patted her shoulder. "Well, I'm off. See ya!"

She left her thinking, and made her way to the second Second Child.

"…_I know what you did to me! And even if you say we're alike, I will never work with you!"_

The TV continued to hurl gunshots at the watching girl. Not that she was paying any attention or anything.

"Asuka, can we talk?"

She kept her eyes on the screen. "Whatever…"

Misato sat next to her. On screen, a movie rated way beyond Asuka's age limit continued to glorify violence in a spectacular, vivid way. Misato figured that if the pilots could rip angels apart, they sure as hell could take harmless people cutting each other up. Okay, Shinji didn't like to see them, but Asuka seemed to like the gory ones. No real surprise there…

"Asuka… "

The girl just stared at the TV. The characters on-screen mover, but her eyes seemed to be fixed slightly behind the set. About five miles, if Misato guessed right.

"You know, she's the same as you-"

"We're nothing alike! How dare you say such a thing!"

The redhead whirled on her, the remote pointed at her accusingly. Misato smirked and just kept going.

"She looks like you, sounds like you, even has your personality.. if a bit more open than you"

Asuka's stare could have burned a hole through an at field. Fortunately for us, Asuka was not Ramiel, so we won't need that sniper rifle, thank you very much.

She huffed, still angry at, well, everyone in the vicinity, "herself" included.

"Ritsuko showed me the report. Well, I sorta forced her to. 100 percent match, Asuka. She's your exact copy. It's a fact neither you nor anyone else can deny. So if I was you, I'd at least try to be nice to the girl, okay?"

Asuka hrumphed, directed her gaze to the not-so-epic battle unfolding on the screen.

_Stubborn, as always…. Let's approach this from another angle…_

"You know, she likes Shinji… does that mean-"

"NO! who in their right mind would like and idiot like _that?_ I mean, come on!"

"You know, I didn't say anything about you liking him… unless, of course…."

Asuka started spluttering, then descended into a cacophony of raging incoherence.

Shinji peeked around the corner, curious as to what was going on, just as Sohryu decided to come out of her room.

Asuka chose that moment to get up and walk right past the two and slam the door in everyone's face.

About ten seconds later, the door opened and Asuka grabbed her shoes, then stormed right back out again. Shinji coughed, catching both of their attention. "uh… what's going on?"

* * *

><p>"Stupid Shinji and stupid Misato and stupid… stupid…"<p>

Asuka clenched her fists as she realized she had nothing else to call the copy. Well, she settled at "Fucking Bitch!", but realized it was rather unspecific.

So she made her way to the next phone booth, and called the only sane person she knew.

* * *

><p>"Well, its official now. Asuka's staying at Hikari's place tonight, so you can stop worrying about her now. She just needs some time, is all"<p>

Shinji visibly relaxed next to Sohryu. She was sitting a bit further away than before, and had her head resting in her hands. Her eyes watched him as he folded his phone and set it down on the table. He was just about to call his friends to look for her, but the fact that Misato had almost threatened him at gunpoint not to was something of a hindrance.

After all, he would have to explain the situation to the two. Which was something he had no interest in doing yet. Or rather, not ever. If he could help it, that was.

* * *

><p>"So… does that mean you're free next Tuesday?"<p>

Hikari lay next to her friend, after having listened to the girl's rant about a certain brown-haired idiot and her guardian, and some other redheaded hussy.

"Tch. Yeah, why?"

"Well, you see.. my sister's been bugging me for a while to ask you something… or rather, to do something…"

Asuka rolled her eyes. Why did the Japanese always sound like they were apologizing toe everything they said?

"Sure, shoot"

"Well, there's this guy she knows. He's been asking and asking to go out with you for a week now. It's only once, and you can say no, if you don't wanna-"

"Anyone is better than the idiots I have to deal with right now, so yeah, I'll go. Maybe he's like Kaji…"

"You mean that cool smooth guy who never shaves?"¨

"Yeah, it's good to know what a real man looks like every now and then after working with a housebroken male stooge like Shinji all the time…"

Well, conversation turned to stuff males shudder to write about.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Sohryu was rather unhappy in her victory. After all it was a victory by disqualification, of sorts. The other contestant leaving the ring gives absolutely no satisfaction at all to a battle unfought.<p>

She turned to her side, resting her gaze on the wall between her and Shinji.

It felt odd, that moment when she saw him relax about Asuka, hr other self.

_You're gonna have to accept her, you know. She's you, 100 percent match…_

How? How could she accept a second self, prying her way into her life as a pilot, as a member of an organization defending mankind against huge, seemingly unyielding monsters they called angels?

Stupid Shinji. It's all his fault.

* * *

><p>Shinji sort of sneezed in his sleep. An action Sohryu watched with tense anticipation as she stopped creeping towards the boy.<p>

_If anything, he hasn't changed at all, at least. And with… _her_ in the picture… I don't know if this will go well. I hope he stays asleep. _

Ever so softly, she lies down next to the boy. Lying with her burning cheeks away from him, she relaxes her body, sensing the soft heat his back radiated from himself.

_Just a few moments, is all I need. Just a few minutes, then I'll go back to bed…._

She heard his breathing, slowly and regularly leave his body. It was something she could not help but smile at. In all her memories, her almost-closeness to Shinji were the fondest she had, apart from victoriously piloting her Eva.

She let her eyes close, swearing that she would just rest them for a bit.

* * *

><p>And so, it was not long until Sohryu was woken by a soft prod in the shoulder.<p>

"Mnh… just a few more minutes… go 'way…"

"Ahem"

She snuggled against the nice, warm pillow underneath her head. Her whole body felt the warmth it usually did when not fully awake, dreading the coldness of the harsh morning air on her skin.

"Asuka…. I think it's best if you get up real quick…."

The voice was whispering. Slightly annoyed at the intrusion, she gazed sleepily at the offending person kneeling in front of her.

"What is it already?"

"look, Ritsuko and I am going to a wedding tonight, and I think we really need to get you some clothes, so if you would get up now and leave Shinji alone again, we could get this day started without massive blood loss"

She identified the voice with her guardian, and promptly focused on the woman's smiling face.

Then it hit her.

"Shit!"

Panic gripped her heart, and she blushed a deep red, embarrassment driving her mind into overdrive.

_"Its not what it looks like and nothing happened anyway and I really need to pee sorry"_

The bathroom door slammed shut, and she rested her back against the frame.

_God, I'm such an idiot! How could I fall asleep like that?_

Misato stifled a laugh. _Well, best let them work it out for now. _

After all, she had been slightly shocked when she had entered the room to find the two fully dressed in their respective sleeping costumes. But her heart had told her not to scream, and she had always trusted her heart.

Well, apart from a singular incident. But that was another story.

* * *

><p><strong>AN;** Okay, I know it's short, but heck, I'm trying to develope a sincere and profound character change. And before you ask, no I'm not telling you where Sohryu came from. It's a secret, for now.

The TV-show asuka was watching is loosely based off a fight scene in Spirit. just so you know.

Grey 11893; Here you go. I hope you like ;)

AngelNo13Bardiel; Just you wait till they hit school!

Aincalandorn; Sorry, not so much humor this time round, but more will come.

Guy; I'm writing this from Wonderland. It may take a while to return, and i hear the jabberwolky is a tough nut to crack. god, of all the universes i get stuck in, why This one? hit Virusir for me!

1337; Heh, She can do that. I like that in her ;)

Asukaforever92; Here you go!

SolidJJ; Well, she's closer to him now. some near lemony sitations for a few chapters for sure, and I'm seriously reconsidering the Lemon policy I have. so there is hope, after all. And don't hold back ideas! let me know what i can do for you!

(the nameless dude, or dudette, i don't know); No worries, eh?

will1707; Yeah, I know i can be an ass like that. hope you didn't agonize over it too much...;)

Weapon-VII; PLEASE DIRECT ME TO THE PICS! ahem. I used that line you did, just not quite in the same context as you hoped. and The Three Stooges are in for some serious trouble, for sure XD

NefCanuck; ...close, but not near what i intend to have Asuka lear about herself.

Hugh Haiter; Oh, I'm thinking of a certain overused Cliché here. FemShinji, anyone?

osiris; Sorry, not so much comedy than drama. next ones will be funnier, though.

New Order; Thanks for the support!

* * *

><p>And now, at the request of a begging, desperate Virusir, I give you an Omake;<p>

*Rei walking down NERV corridor*

Asuka: Hey Wondergirl!

*Rei turns around*

Rei: Yes, Second Child...?

*She is seeing two Asukas in front of her*

Rei:...

Asuka: So what do you think, First Child?

Asuka 2: Cool huh?

Rei:...

*looks at each redhead before saying*

Rei: Oh hell no.

* * *

><p>Virusir, get your head outta the gutter! Thats my place!<p>

Anyways, Thanks for reading! See ya next chapter!

Yours sincerely,

Henry V


	4. Confession

**Desired Effects**

by Henry V

* * *

><p>I don't own Jack, or Eva<p>

It's been ages since last time. I'm just as annoyed as you might be. I hope this works...

Anyways, thanks for sticking with me. This chapter might not be up to standard, but i swear I'll make it up to you next time.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter four; Confession<strong>

* * *

><p>"Right, so let's get this stuff back home!"<p>

Misato made a fist into the air, pumping it victoriously as the redhead dragged five bags of "absolute necessities" to the car park. Misato was preoccupied with two bags of alcohol, and the cursing redhead was not going to "trade yours for mine".

"Man, why couldn't Shinji come? At least he could have helped with the weight…"

Misato grinned as she pulled her sunglasses down to her nose.

"You sure you're okay with your load? Need a helping hand?"

Sohryu scoffed. "Yeah right. How about your stuff, huh? You're probably pushing the flammable liquid limit on private vehicles with all that sake…"

Misato stuck her tongue at the girl. "So what! At least I know what I want!"

Sohryu rolled her eyes.

* * *

><p>"This isn't easy for me, you know…"<p>

Shinji glanced at the figure before him. It remained stoically silent, radiating an air of imminent doom.

"Look, I'm sure we can come to some kind of agreement. I swear I'll be gentle, okay?"

The figure's eyes contracted to slits. Still, no change in posture.

"Oh all right, fine. I just want you to know this is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you!"

He gripped the broom hard, readying himself for battle.

The figure still stood, as if rooted, before its territory.

The door slammed open, and Misato walked in just in time to catch Shinji advancing on her pet penguin. With a raised broom.

"Shinji what the hell!"

He hid the offending stick behind his back. "Nothing!"

Sohryu followed, curious to what was going on. Spotting the brown haired boy, she stifled a giggle as the broomstick pocked out above his head.

The penguin took the opportunity to scramble warkingly behind his master, and Shinji could swear he smirked at him as Misato raged about his cleaning fetish.

"… so drop that stick and grab the one for making food, boy, or else!"

Snapping around, he listened to the voice in his head telling him not to disagree.

The redhead stood in the doorframe, her arms crossed and a smirk almost, but not entirely, present.

"You know, that fridge really needs cleaning out, sometime-"

She was cut off by Misato's finger almost on the tip of her nose.

"Nobody. Hurts. Penpen…"

Sohryu looked past the fingertip and at the smirking bird.

"..but me!"

The expression on the penguin's face turned to absolute shock as he realized that even if he stood at a point of excellent view underneath the woman, he was also in range of the most powerful muscles a human being had.

Misato missed him by a quarter inch. Persuit was immediate, and the two disappeared into the living room.

* * *

><p>Sohryu rolled her eyes, then began hauling her clothes into the flat. After that, she couldn't help but ask the obvious question.<p>

"Where the hell am I gonna put this stuff?"

She opened pretty much every cupboard in her room, only to find them already filled with clothes she knew she had bought again. From her very first bra to her yellow sundress, everything was there.

"But… I have the new ones…"

The thought brought a slight smile to her face. After all the bitching, she finally had been able to get some new stuff.

Just then the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!"

Sohryu almost skipped to the door, then almost instantly recoiled as she opened the door to face herself again.

"Oh… hello.."

Asuka stood with her hands on her hips, the frown deepening as she came face to face with herself. She was still wearing her leotard, and looked like she had run here.

"What! Something funny?"

Sohryu smirked. "Well, not really. Sad, more like-"

Asuka stormed past her, not at all shoving intentionally at her counterpart. It irked Sohryu, but she easily countered the sway.

"Misato! I'm home!"

The woman smiled. "Hi Asuka! Glad you could make it!"

Asuka pointedly ignored the boy who peeked around the corner, and swept her hair over her shoulder. "Well, I'm going onna date tonight! Need to get dressed, you know!"

Sohryu frowned. "A date?"

Asuka nodded. "uh-huh. Now let me get some stuff- wait! What are those?"

Asuka had spotted Sohryu's stash of fabrics. In particular, the yellow sundress she so dearly loved.

"Who- when—Misato! What's going on here?"

Misato sighed. "Well, since there are two of you now, you're gonna need more clothes. So we went shopping-"

"But you never let me get these!"

She held up a pair of lacy panties. Both Sohryu and Shinji's faces flushed red, and they locked eyes for a split second before focusing on the most mundane of things in the flat.

"Well, Asuka, that's because they're mine!"

She swiped the offending materials out of Asuka's hands. "As are these… and these… oh and this too…"¨

Various embarrassing items later, Sohryu really asked herself _when_ exactly Misato had slipped them into her bags. Lazy woman… but altogether far too smart.

Asuka then proceeded to pick out Sohryu's favorite dress, shoes and choker. Reasoning that "she can have my old stuff, s'probably too tight anyway", Asuka closed the door on the two and changed.

Misato watched as Sohryu's expression began to morph from abject disbelief to furious anger. She intervened by laying a hand on her shoulder and removing her from a possible crime scene. Instead, she let her reign supreme over the TV remote, which seemed to have a grudge at her since pretty much any channel Sohryu switched to was portraying gruesome, inventively inspired murder.

Sohryu however seemed to relax as one particular murder involved a redhead, three axes and something similar to a scythe.

Misato fought hard not to hurl.

* * *

><p>"I hope your date goes well!" Misato called after the striding girl. Asuka twirled on her (new) heels, and waved at her guardian.<p>

"With this outfit? Hell yeah!"

Misato waved back and smiled. Asuka seemed happy, so she let the tension recede from her mind, focusing on her own engagement tonight. Any time now, Kaji would be here, sweeping her off her feet, carrying her to the car, his loving eyes staring straight into hers….

"Misato…"

_And then… after enough beer to drown a comatose elephant…_

"Misato! Close the door! It's hot enough without you letting in the dam heat already!"

She jumped at the girl behind her, whirling around guiltily.

"Okay, okay! Jeez, gimme a break!"

She closed the door and hurried to the bathroom.

* * *

><p>"Hey, um.. Shinji?"<p>

The boy lay still, not reacting to the redhead's call. His arm was draped over his face, and he was breathing regularly. Sohryu concentrated and made out the soft whisper of music. She sighed and slid the door shut behind her.

It had been a weird few days, at the very least. She had suddenly awoken in her plug, found the copy of herself sitting on her lap, claiming to be Asuka Langley Sohryu.

She silently walked over to the boy and gazed down on him for a few moments, before sitting down next to his bed.

_At least he hasn't changed. Thank god for that. _

She tried again.

"Hey, Shinji"

Okay, she was just above whispering.

Confirming that he didn't hear him, she sat down, cross-legged against the far wall. She let her eyes travel around the room.

"Well, there's probably nothing weird in here at least. I've gotta admit you're either pretty smart or just that honest…"

She smiled. He was still not moving.

"I guess we can work on that, in time. If it just wasn't for that stupid bitch… what is it with her?"

_What is it with me? Why am I being so lame?_

She sighed again. Then she spotted something she didn't expect.

"… A cellocase…"

She got up and took a closer look. Yes, there behind the cupboard a black case, almost as high as her shoulders, leaned a matted black case, holding within it an instrument closely resembling the human voice.

She deeply regretted the fact that their fight had cost her her violin. She had been rather good at it, and would have loved to play again every now and again. Unfortunately…

"Stupid angels…"

She returned back to sitting in front of him.

"You know… I really don't know why I've never said this but…"

She sighed and got up. Suddenly, she started fidgeting.

A rush of air, a small pop of a chaste kiss on his exposed cheek and a small smile passed before she continued.

"… I really like you, Shinji…"

She fought her beating heart and silently exited the room.

After a while, the arm rose, and the boy plucked the single earbud out of his left ear. His own heart was beating, his breath was surpressed, and his hand covered the spot where the redhead had touched him.

"…what the…"

* * *

><p>"I just don't get it! How in gods name could this happen?"<p>

The man smirked and leaned back into his seat. The woman was clearly drunk, and had the air of an experienced alcoholic.

Misato pointed an accusing finger at him. "I bet'cha she was tryin' ter messesesesss wit' her head, ye know whadaimsain'?"

Kaji took the opportunity to wrap his hand over her index finger. "You know, for all her faults, I sincerely doubt that she was trying to harm her. I guess she could have made a mistake, or missed something-"

Misato tried vainly to recover her finger. "Missed something! I think creating a second Asuka is probably a lot more complicated than just making some kind of mistake!"

She tried plying his hand open with her other one.

"Oh, you never know, with mad geniuses" he replied, tightening his grip playfully. She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Thbbt! And it's genii, moron!"

He laughed, letting her go. A victory sip later, she was leaning on her hands.

"Hey, kaji?"

The man raised his cup to his lips.

"Yeah, hon?"

"would you… would you want two of me?"

The man smiled. "Would you be willing to share?"

She smirked. "Point taken"

* * *

><p>Asuka was severely bored. Not only did this so-called med-student know less about medicine than her, but he also had no guts at all when it came to rides. Seriously, he was a worse wimp than Shinji!<p>

_I've gotta get the hell outta here!_

She spied a candy-floss-stall a hundred feet away, and turned to the guy. She turned her sweetness on full power.

"Hey, could you get me a candy-floss? I haven't had any since I came here!"

He looked surprised, and slightly hopeful. Maybe this date would go well after all?

"Sure thing, Sohryu-san. Wait here!"

With that, the gullible fool slipped out of the line and headed to the stall. Asuka waved as he turned. Then ducked and went off in the other direction to lose him.

"Sucker!"

* * *

><p>Shinji's thoughts were supposed to be focused on the dish he was making. Unfortunately, after the unwilling revelation, he was far from able to do so.<p>

_She likes me she likes me she likes me…_

The redhead had greeted him with her usual cheery smile, and before he could ask her anything she asked him for dinner.

His own stomach had growled at that, and no sooner had the thought entered his head he was already pulling out pans and pots.

He was making _hanbagu_, something he could do in his sleep and with the rest of what was in the fridge.

_Keep calm! It must have been a dream! Yes, that's it! A very, very good dream… but a dream nonetheless. Stop thinking stupid things, Shinji!_

His brain fought hard to convince him otherwise, but his will managed to surpress it long enough to avoid burning the meal.

He did not, however, hear the door open. Neither the call of Asuka as she unclad her shoes, passed Sohryu with a withering glare on in the living room (which was, to her annoyance, pointedly ignored), then sat down on at the table.

The girl was reading something or other in german. No, not Mein Kampf…

As I was saying; she was reading. And reading Asuka meant docile Asuka. She just didn't bother verbally abusing her fellow human beings when distracted, simply put. Usually, she wouldn't miss a chance to get a punch in his ego, but today….

Well, suffice to say she was still recovering from her date.

The cooking smelt good. It always did. Specially her secret favorite. The surmised taste already made her mouth water. And for some reason, she was smiling slightly.

Shinji however was just finishing the meal when he turned to see Asuka sitiing there.

_Alright, she told you she liked you. And you probably weren't supposed to hear it. But you did anyway. And she called you by name, more than once, so no doubt about who she was talking. Which means… I have to apologize. But if I do, then she'll get cross! But if I don't get this off my chest…._

He was quite the coward. He told himself he'd be the first to admit it. In truth, he would be about half way down the top hundred list, but I digress.

But this Asuka seemed to be a lot… easier to be around. And she _had _said she liked him, so there was a chance she'd forgive him.

He gulped.

Now or never.

He se the pan down and walked up right behind her. Then…

"Asuka…"

She turned, and for some reason, flashed a small smile.

"Oh, hey Shinji-"

"Look, I'm sorry that I overheard you talking to me yesterday night and I'm sorry I didn't say anything and-"

Asuka's smile turned into a scowl. "What the hell are you talking about!"

Shinji bunched his fists and answered "You said you liked me! And I should have-"

Asuka's mind did a full 180 and slammed the brakes. Then went into overdrive as she let the book fall limply from her hands.

Shinji stood staring at her in disbelief. _Was it really a dream? Oh god!_

He instantly began to backtrack. "Uh… ah… what I mean is… I-"

She rose and brought her face close to his, red with anger, even brighter than his own of shame.

"What. Did. You. Say"

"Ahahaha… it was just a dream-"

Then something moved in the corner of his eye. He flicked to it, hoping for salvation. And there was another Asuka.

She was wide-eyed, having heard his confession. And slightly jealous about her counterpart totally wasting the moment.

And in Shinji's mind, the dots connected, and spelled doom.

Meanwhile Asuka turned to Sohryu, who was looing like Shinji, only much more idiotic since the look usually never turned up on her face. It was weird….

_What the hell is he talking about! And why is-_

Then the dots in Asuka's mind connected. And she knew. And looking at Sohryu, she knew _she_ knew she knew.

This would require delicate hands, experienced in dealing with extreme situations. Unfortunately for Shinji, his father was busily doing the stone bastard on throne impression, Ritsuko Akagi was trying to tear her hair out instead of dealing with her mother's latest 'fuck you' in form of a dilemma, Fuyutsuki was lying wide awake after a dream involving Rei, his car, and for some indescribable reason, a rubber mallet, and Misato Katsuragi, his operations director, was so wasted even the screws in the table seemed sexually attractive to her. And Kaji, the poor sod, was trying to part her from "Mr woody-san" the table before the barkeeper called the cops.

"Ah… let's… eat…?"

* * *

><p>Omake;<p>

Asuka glared at the bluenette. Rei sighed and inspected her nails.

"So, what are we doing here, exactly?"

Asuka felt slightly nervous, but didn't show it any way at all. Sohryu, however, was beginning to fidget.

"I wish to show you something about me. It is in direct reference to your situation, but vastly superior"

The girl's tired voice sounded confident, for some reason.

Asuka almost snarled.

"Well! Show us already!"

They reached a door. On it, in bold red letters, stood various words proclaiming terminal retaliation should anyone breach this barrier. And there was a heart painted next to the last 'R' in DANGER

Rei slid a card through the lock, and opened Heaven's Gate.

"You now have a second aspect of yourself. However…"

She strode into the room, and the two redheads followed. The gate closed with a snap.

"I…. I have over thirty aspects of myself"

The room lit up, and showed a white figure strapped to a huge cross.

Not that this was in any way not disturbing, but the sand on the floor, several mops of blue hair bobbing in and out of sight in the red sea, and at leas a score of turning, identical figures in deckchairs made the two german girls stare open-mouthed at the scene.

Rei crossed held her elbow with her hand behind her back.

"So, second Children, if you in any way begin to abuse myself, my associates or anyone else I deem worthy of respect, I will take… _steps_"

The thirty five aspects of Rei Ayanami began to collect behind the bluenette.

"Do we have an accord?"

The two redheads gulped and nodded.

* * *

><p><strong>AN; **Thank you for not hitting the back button this far. Now to some answers;

will 1707; Well, I hope this works for you. And Yes. Heck, I'd do the same if someone looking like me was tearing down my reputation like that.

Guy; ... Dude, where are you guys! its been... okay, just a few days. Hehe, now that you mention it...

Aincalandorn; Sorry, but school's gonna have to wait a bit. I need to build up something before hand. I'm guessing about chapter six, maybe seven, before the Stooges simultaniously get whacked by the same girl... _I CAN'T WAIT!_

Weapon-VII; Correct. And Thanks.

Almega; Believe me; Asuka would really like to. Sohryu would just as well, and...wait, that gives me an idea...

Miraboreas; This is a humor fic. Suck it up.

LoPe21; Well, she can't really share with herself, aparently. oh well.

Zoro 50; Sorry about the shortness. and teh lack of beta is intentional. For now...

anonymous; Thanks!

Narutostudent; Will do ;)

NefCanuck; I would not want to be in his skin, that's for sure. and i know what's coming for him... Muahahahacoughhack...

Dragonjeck; We all hope so. And here you go!

osiris; Here's your fourth fix!

Virusir; ... I'm waiting. And I can only agree that the basement is so far beyond my grasp that I no longer care. Oh well. Words TO teh begging, desperate Virusir ;)

One man geek squad; Thanks!

* * *

><p>Any Omakes are welcome to my PM-box. Any alerts will be highly apreciated. Favorites will be loved. And reviews, oh those delicious, creamy reviews, will be smothered in joy and happiness. Flames keep me warm at night.<p>

See ya all next chapter!

Henry V

edit; DAMN fucking scene breakers!


End file.
